So I had a lovely dinner at a diner (a diner dinner) with my loser friend, Leighton, tonight. I had the pancakes and she had the lentil soup (clearly, I won the ordering competition). Not wanting to cut our date short, we decided to mosey on over to the neighborhood CVS to pick up some goods.
Number-o uno on my list was deodorant but it took us far too long to locate my target. It was really well hidden… like the CVS was desperately trying to hold onto its stash of deodorant… there was even a ridiculous system of tiles covering the products like that childrens’ game where you move the tiles around to make a picture. Once me and Leighto Potato found the deodorant rack I realized I was faced with a big question.
Do I want to smell like a clean, put together woman… or do I always want to feel like a I’m constantly being followed by a hot guy with good hygiene? Of course, once I vocalized my inner conundrum, the answer was obvious. I scoured the men’s section and found the prize – Old Spice Game Day Deodorant.
Not only will I be constantly followed by the lingering scent of a man, I have decided that it will be physically impossible to put on my game day deodorant and not giggle a little inside. “Wake up Bennett! You know what day it is today!? IT’S GAME DAY!!!!” Then I’ll meat-out for a good five minutes while listening to 80’s hair bands and chest bumping my cat. If we’re going to be super serial though… I imagine my Game Day Deodorant with a mouth and the voice of the man who says “Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY!” on the boob tube.
I just looked at the Old Spice website and I got even MORE excited about my purchase.
Give your armpits a victory parade.
The triumphant scent of Game Day runs a half-back split straight up a woman’s nose. We designed it this way because if you look at a lady’s head, her nose is closest to her brain where her decision to date you is made.
• Long lasting for 24 hours of “handsome-smelling quarterback smell.”
• Crisp, triumphant scent.
I would rather have the long lasting, handsome-smelling, hilarious & creative genius smell following me around as opposed to quarterback… but I think that was too wordy for the advertisement. At least the scent will be crisp and triumphant.