So I stuck with the plan and didn’t get a $2 coffee on my way to work but instead got unlimited FREE coffee at the office – mind you, I do have to close my eyes and plug my nose while I drink it but the jolt is still there…
For lunch, I went to a bodega and got a ham and cheese sandwich but then I splurged and got two bags of chips and ended up spending $6.
For dinner, I decided I was going to make Baked Sweet Potato Tacos using Martha Stewart’s recipe for taco filling which is OMG so amazing (I added some cinnamon to the whole shebang and it was como stimulamos, stimulamos, stimulamos y orgasmo! (Thank you OMG Shoes guy…)
HOWEVER, in order to do this, I had to break my budget to be able to afford the necessary materials – but knowing that it would last me a few days. So after buying crushed tomatoes, ground beef, two sweet potatoes, three onions, one jalapeno pepper and cumin, coriander, and chili powder… I spent $19 BUT I have a buttload of taco filling and it should last me a few days.
TOTAL: $25 (or 9 Bahraini Dinars)… so this means I can only spend $5 until Thursday and still be considered “within budget”
Again, I had a $2 coffee for my 3 mile walk to work. This is somewhat of a frivolous expense as I get free coffee at work. I’m using the term coffee carelessly as I’m pretty sure it’s mostly rocket fuel but it is free sooooo starting Monderday, no mas cafe.
$7.10 – Chicken tenders and fries. I split the meal in half so I could eat the rest for dinner.
Free – 1 bottle of wine. I was telling a co-worker about my project and they decided to gift me a bottle of wine to help me make it through my first $10/day weekend. I’m sure it can be written off as a charitable contribution.
Side note – I noticed that someone is using my toothpaste because a) I only squeeze from the bottom up and it was all crazy and b) the cap was off. I have not budgeted for toothpaste theft and might have to throw down. Stand by…
Today started out the same as yesterday… with a $2 cup of coffee from the coffee shop across the street, Red Horse Cafe. I absolutely love this place! I used to come here every morning and get a coffee and whole wheat bagel, toasted, with cream cheese… and then I realized I was eating a whole wheat bagel, toasted, with cream cheese every day. Ew. They also serve alcohol and you can get any item with a side of witty banter… fo free! (I splurged and got two sides today)
For lunch, I hit up my main man, David, in the Studio Commissary and he made a lovely grilled cheese sandwich for me for only $2.75. Not the healthiest of meals but at $2.45 what do you expect? Lobster bisque!? Well then you’re just STUPID.
For din-din I had my leftover Thai food and rounded off the spending…. $4.75!!! What whaaaat. By the end of this little experiment I’m going to have so much money left over I’ll be able to buy half a shirt… maybe the sleeve.
9:00am – $2 for a large coffee that I leisurely drank as I walked 3 miles to my office. The walk took an hour but hey heyyyy… one episode of This American Life is just that – one hour! Today’s episode of choice was 394: Bait and Switch.
When I got to work, someone brought in bagels so instead of eating the leftover Kashi Go-Lean crunch that the Mildred Pierce production left behind, I had a lovely whole wheat bagel waiting for me on my chair.
For lunch, I found some crackers and topped them with peanut butter and the finest grape jelly one can find in a squeeze jar.
Doesn’t that look scrumptious? No.. no it doesn’t but it filled me up.
For dinner I WAS going to have my leftover thai food… but after my boss threatened to kill me (his exact words were, “Do it again, I’ll kill you!… but right now you’re fine”) I decided I would splurge and get a Vietnamese sandwich!!!
8:00pm – $6.50 on a Grilled Chicken Vietnamese Sandwich from Hanco’s
So I’ve really come to loathe public transportation… And more specifically, the MTA. Now, this hasn’t always been the case. There was a point when I first arrived in NYC where the morning aroma of dehydrated-homelessperson-pee got me excited to start the day (there really is nothing like a slap in the face with human amonia to wake you up). There was a time when I was excited about the people watching I was going to partake in every time I took the subway (only public transpo can give you that much of a confidence boost on a daily basis).
But like all most good things, it came to an end after: a) witnessing people puking, b) being accosted on a daily basis by someone drunkenly stumbling into people asking for money and rubbing their pee-pee odor all over everyone, c) breaking into furious sweats from standing in a non-ventilated subway station and ruining my hair/makeup/clothes, and d) enduring back/leg pain from having to stand for 45 minutes with heavy bags/purses while waiting for the train because I can’t sit on the benches because I might catch bed bugs.
So now that I work in the Brooklyn Navy Yard, my transportation options are: One) I can take the G train and then walk 20 minutes (this isn’t that bad unless it’s raining, hot, cold, or snowing) or Two) I can take the B69 which drops me off 3 blocks away from the Studio. The bus options seems like it would easily be the best but, unfortunately, it sucks harder than that chocolate tube that saw the demise of one, Augustus Gloop. The bus never runs on a regular schedule so it’s always a crapshoot as to whether or not you’ll get to work on time or possibly, 45 minutes late.
So after that little rant (I could go on… and don’t worry, there will be future posts regarding the MTA), here is my little diddy about a B69 trip.
So now that school has started, the bus REALLY sucks. Now the bus becomes overcrowded with… teenagers (shiver). So I get on the bus and it’s a new bus driver who obviously has a shared disdain for teenagers. Case in point: whenever a student would get on the bus who didn’t have their school bus pass, he would hold them up until they figured out the “magic password phrase” which was “Good morning sir, please pardon my gaffe but it appears that I do not have my bus pass with me on this fine morning. If you would be so kind, may I please ride your beautifully maintained bus?”
This happened a good 8 or so times so we quickly started to fall behind schedule.
THEN, we came to a stop that had a bunch of people and the bus driver asked everyone who was standing in the center aisle to go as far back to the bus as possible so we could accommodate everyone who was waiting at the bus stop. Well, some pleasant young lad (young Buck) in the back of the bus decided that he didn’t want to move his legs to allow people to move back. An older gentlemen (old Buck) sitting a few seats in front of him saw what was going on and started telling the kid to move his legs. Young Buck wasn’t having any of it and told Old Buck to turn around and sit down. Well, Old Buck wasn’t going to take ANY lip from some punk ass teenager and stands up and starts telling Young Buck that he is going to move his legs RIGHT NOW or he will hop back there and SPANK HIM!
This continued for a few minutes… meanwhile, the bus is not moving and finally the bus driver stands up, gets on his big-boy-bus-driver microphone and says, “All you school kids! Leave that man alone! He works for the city and he will throw all of you in jail if you do not leave him alone! I will kick you all off of this bus now leave him alone!”
… I’m already 15 minutes late to work and we’re a good 10 minutes away from my stop.
Finally, Young Buck decides he’s filled his attention quota for 8am and let’s everyone in the bus pile to the back. Meanwhile, I’m sitting next to a woman who smells like McDonald’s breakfast platter and cursing the fact that I sold my car to be able to afford… wait for it… one month’s rent.
So the whole time this is going on… I can’t help but be slightly amused because this youtube video keeps running through my mind:
After careful evaluation of my finances… I’ve realized that I am only able to live off of $10/day (or 125 pesos/day) until November 10. Thank you NYC for stealing my paycheck the day I receive it. But do I take this pitiful realization and sulk in the corner like a Snooki-monster who doesn’t get her “smush-smush”!? Hell no! Dis bitch is making it her personal mission to prove to herself that not only is $10/day doable… homegirl can actually end up with extra cash at the end of the run. So get ready to join me in my quest to be the brokest chick in designer jeans this city has ever seen!
10/19 – Day 1:
9:15am – $1.75 for a medium coffee
For lunch, I scavenged the cupboards at work at had a cup-o-noodles.. fo FREE!
For dinner, I babysat and was given $20 for food so I ordered thai and pocketed the extra $6. (FYI – All the money I make from babysitting goes straight to paying off my credit card and cannot be used to supplement my $10/day project.)
So I’ve been really missing my dear sweet kitty, Fannie. For those of you who don’t know, her life came to a sudden end when she went hunting one night, and took on a mountain lion with nothing but a bobby pin and the determination of Chuck Norris. It was an epic battle with lots of circling, snapping, and dancing… much like the epic fight that happened with the Jets and the People I Don’t Care About Because They Weren’t The Jets in West Side Story. (In all actuality, she probably ran away and is living with a nice elderly couple that has a plethora of cicadas for her to chase in the yard.)
Anywayz… I had a dream last night that I found the MOST AWESOME CAT IN THE WORLD… a weird statement because most cats suck major asshole. THIS cat however, was half domestic cat… half LYNX! It. Was. Awesome. It was feisty and would play fetch and do other lynxy stuff. It was SO awesome that I decided the only way to make this cat even better… was to pierce it’s tongue… OBVIOUSLY. So I picked out the classiest emerald stud to shove into her fleshy bit and did the deed. Everything was going well until I realized that.. oh shit… my landlord doesn’t allow pets, let alone half lynx pets. And OH YEAH.. I was moving across the country so it totally didn’t make sense for me to have a cat. So, after much consideration and with much pain in my heart… I walked up to my cat/lynx to tell it that I was going to have to return it to it’s cat-lynx breeder. As I approached the cat, it turned into my young brother (yeah…) and I had to break his little cat/lynx/brother heart by telling him I had to return him.
So I was listening to the above old episode of “All Things Considered” (love me some Ira Glass) and I couldn’t stop thining about different lyrics that my friends have famously butchered. Here are some of my favorites:
Brian: For years he believed the Shania Twain song Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under said “Boots day, happy boots day on earth.”
Veronica: Tiny Dancer by Elton John – She would sing “Hold me closer…. Tony Danza”
And there’s this awesome video of Pearl Jam’s Yellow Ledbetter…
So now I want to compile a list of horribly butchered lyrics. SO SEND ME SOME LYRICS YO!
UPDATES:
Lindsey: She thought the song “Black Hole Sun” said… “Black Hawk Down”
Lindsey: Thought the song “Behind These Hazel Eyes” by Kelly Clarkson said… “You had my tantalized”
Molly: Thought the song by Regina Spektor that goes “…If I kiss you where it’s sore…” actually said… “if I kiss you wearing shorts”
Kristen: Thought the TLC Song “Waterfalls” said… “don’t go jason watercall” instead of “don’t go chasing waterfalls”
Natalie: back at back dat, give me 50 ft (or back back back back, give me 50 ft – by Lil ‘O, rap song. In hs when this came out I thought it was “baghdad baghdad give me 50 ft”. maybe it was bc 9/11 had occurred and we were going over there or who knows but I didnt find out I was wrong for years later.
Terra: “i see a brand new horizon!”… actually: “I saw a bad moon arising”
Can’t think of a good Halloween costume? Well if some of your options are “Dead Guy” or “Guy Who Just Pissed Himself” check this out!
That’s right… it’s a 36-Shot-Glass Bandolier. But it get’s better… if you want to purchase this beautiful accessory for the low price of $9.99, you’re already going to be on the site that touts itself as having “The World’s Best Knife Prices”… what could go wrong!? So, let’s load this puppy up with 39 shots of Everclear-laced-Tequila and pick up a Raptor Claw Handspike to really pull the outfit together. This way, if any ass-face starts messin’ with you on Halloween, you can squaw like a raptor and dive straight at that jack-ass Teletubbie who’s trying to embarrass you in front of your lady-friend. Best costume ever!
This is the blurb on the product site about the item:
You gotta fight, for your right, TO PARTY!!!! So strap on this 36-shot-glass bandolier for a guaranteed good time. Two crossing nylon shoulder straps and an adjustable belt hold 36 bullet-shaped, one-ounce shot glasses complete with locking caps. You just thought you liked to party, but with this 36-shot party bandolier, you know.
Obviously, they’re really targeting the douche-bag crowd.
Money Ovah Bloggers 