Perfection In Commercial Form

So I REALLY dig commercials these days… not too many plot twists, just the perfect marriage of intrigue and novelty (?!). These Old Spice commercials DEFINITELY have a certain amount of je ne sais quoi about them… but I don’t know what that means.

LET’S TALK ABOUT BOOBIES!

This is a fun site about breasts boobs jugs tits titties fun-bags Luftballons  that I discovered from my twitter friend Baconator. Yes, I do have a friend named Baconator and he’s from Austin and he shares my appreciation for the back of the hog and he’s a beautiful creature and we love each other and he smells like Christmas so DON’T JUDGE ME!

15 Things You Should Know About Breasts <– click that, yo!

My favorite is #12. Apparently it’s legal to go topless in Texas. This really shouldn’t surprise me since the following applies to Texas:

• One must acknowledge a supreme being before being able to hold public office.
• It’s illegal to sell one’s eye.
• Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos.
• It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
• It is illegal to milk another person’s cow.
• The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
• In Dallas, it’s illegal to possess realistic dildos.
• In Clarendon, it is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster.
• In Borger, it is against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls, feather dusters, whips or quirts (riding crop), and explosive firecrackers of any kind.
• In Corpus Christie,  it is illegal to raise alligators in your home. (I should tell my loser friend, Leighton, this since Corpus is her childhood stomping grounds.)
• In Galveston,  it is illegal to have a camel run loose in the street.

via this and that

Ed. Iz. Be. Da. Man.

Eddie Izzard is the greatest man alive. I mostly think this because we wear the same shade of rouge.

What The WHAT Is “Milk”?!

So I saw this on the sketchy beer/cig place on my corner (and yes I mean “my corner” as in “bitch, dis be my corner i’m twerkin so you bes back da fuuuuck up”) and I had to say to myself, “Nigga what the fuck is juice milk?!” (If you don’t get that reference a) you’re stupid and b) check this out at 1:35 )

So here are my thoughts on what the what “milk” is:

1. You can purchase Harvey Milk –  he comes in gallon sizes these days
2. No really I have no effing idea what “milk” is

People Make Me Giggle

 

It’s little things like this that make me so glad I left Killeen, TX.