Monthly Archives: January 2010

T-Gregg’s Take On The iPad

4:04pmMegan 

fregg! ipad thoughts? it makes me think of an electronic menstration absorber…

4:06pmGregg

iPad = terrible device that well sell like hotcakes due to Apple’s ungodly marketing squad

+$130 for 3G is rediculous

$15 dollars for 250 mb a month is awful

$30 for unlimited isnt too bad

but you will use 250 mb of bandwidth by

listening to pandora for like 3 hours

and youtube HD will destroy that

so people are dumb to expect that to be decent

hang on

ok

i didn’t see anything that was really revolutionary

granted the technology is nice for the size of the device

there was no camera

for video conferencing

which would have been HUGE

put that at the top of the thing

internet video conferencing over iChat or whatever

badass

but nooo

theres no pen for input, which I expected

which is retarded, because how many Apple fanboy artists would go out to the park, sit on a bench, and just draw some crazy awesome shit on their iPad?

exactly…it would be badass

so you cant use it for notetaking and stuff like that

which would make it huge on campuses

buying any less than the 64gig one would be a huge waste of money

because once you start putting movies and music on there, that shit will pile up fast

the iBook store thing is decent

4:11pmMegan
 

omg this is an INTENSE argument with no one

4:11pmGregg

but it doesn’t seem any better than what other ebook readers offer

nono, its legit, because Apple is coining this as some badass device, when I could sit here and make it so much better

4:12pmMegan

what else would you do

4:12pmGregg

I have severe concerns for the structural integrity of the screen

how many iphone screens have you seen cracked?

ive seen shitloads…this is potentially even worse

4:13pmMegan

good point

4:13pmGregg

the dock

should connect with it horizontally

that way it can also be used as a stand while watching movies

and if i was going to connect the keyboard attachment, I would rather have it sideways like a widescreen monitor

horizontally is how the device should be primarily designed to being used

i dont know if there is bluetooth

but there damn well should be

charging dock + bluetooth mouse/keyboard = easily converts to a compact desktop workstation for a student

USB drive or some interface for removable storage

like a USB port

thats what i mean

because the iWork stuff could potentially be awesome, but they are crippling its potential

if I do anything on there, i’ll have to transfer it over the internet or through my computer

4:17pmGregg

OMG badass idea

ok so they integrate a usb thumbdrive into the side

that is brushed aluminum like the case and contours with the curve

pop that baby out, and its just like a USB drive.

Holy shit im going to take the EE world by storm.

Now tell me…of all that stuff…what am I wrong about?

because wouldnt it be 2093983% better if they included those features?

4:20pmMegan 

lol omg they need to hire you

slash i need a translator

4:21pmGregg

they should

I should write up a big thing about what the iPad should be and send it to them

and they’ll be like…hmm how would you like an internship my son?

and i’ll be like…how about you just give me a job already, and i’ll continue to school it up while you pay me for going to school

and they’ll be like….DAMN we’re gonna call the genius bar the gregg bar from now on

John McCain vs. Jersey Shore

Here’s a little nugget in honor of my most recent public humiliation – the Jersey Shore party at Sutton Place.

According to the new political bestseller Game Change, John McCain drops enough F-bombs to fit right in on the hit MTV reality show Jersey Shore. Can you tell the difference between Big Mac and America’s favorite tanned and toned Italian-American 20-somethings—or, as they call infamously themselves, guidos? Take our NSFW quiz.

1.
A) “They’re going to fuck us.”
B) “You’re fucking disgusting.”

2.
A) “Holy shit. What the fuck are we gonna do?”
B) “How many fucking times do I have to go to fucking New York this week?”

3.
A) “Forget about this shit; we’re friends, we’ve been friends for 20 years.”
B) “I’m sucking up my pride right now, and apologizing.”

4.
A) “They’re going to destroy the fucking party.”
B) “The party’s in Pauly D’s pants tonight.”

5.
A) “What the fuck are all these people doing here?”
B) “I wouldn’t be a dick if you weren’t a little bitch.”

6.
A) “I was thinkin’ heavy fire and I didn’t wear my bulletproof vest and I just don’t know if I’m gonna make it.”
B) “I’m gonna do what I need to do, everything I need to do, and then we’ll probably lose.”

7.
A) “We don’t need to worry about that crap. It’s just bullshit.”
B) “I look over and I see like hair being pulled and all this shit, I’m like oh my god, how do I get in?”

8.
A) “I don’t give a fuck if you’re fat, you’re ugly, you’re 45 years old…”
B) “If that happens to me tomorrow night, we’re fucked.”

9.
A) “When you go into battle, you need to have some friends with you so that just in case a grenade gets thrown at you, one of your buddies takes it first.”
B) “We started too fucking early. We should have waited.”

10.
A) “We got a problem on our hands. I’ll show my true side…my true, dirty, fucking filthy side.”
B) “FUCK YOU! FUCK, FUCK, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!!”

ANSWERS ON THE NEXT PAGE

1. A (McCain) B (Jersey Shore, Sammi)
2. A (Jersey Shore, Pauly D) B (McCain)
3. A (McCain) B (Jersey Shore, Ronnie)
4. A (McCain) B (Jersey Shore, Pauly D)
5. A (McCain) B (Jersey Shore, The Situation)
6. A (Jersey Shore, The Situation) B (McCain)
7. A (McCain) B (Jersey Shore, Snooki)
8. A (Jersey Shore, Vinny) B (McCain)
9. A (Jersey Shore, The Situation) B (McCain)
10. A (Jersey Shore, JWoww) B (McCain)

WHAT YOUR SCORE MEANS:

10/10: C’mere, Snooki wants to give you a “smoosh.”
8 or 9: Your brain has great abs.
6 or 7: You’re still an honorary guido/guidette.
4 or 5: Did you run for vice president in 2008?
3 and under: That Ed Hardy T-shirt may be cutting off oxygen to your brain.

via thedailybeast.com

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I *Heart* Books

This is an excerpt from the book I’m reading right now – Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman

Last year I had to go to one of those “adult” parties. I think you know the kind of party I mean: People brought their screaming children and someone inexplicably served fresh cornbread, and half the house stood around and watched the local news affiliate when it came on at 11:00 PM. I spent the whole evening in the kitchen with the two guys I came with; we tried to have an exclusionary conversation despite the fact that we consciously drove to this party in order to be social. Most of the guests began to exit at around midnight, which is the same time some odd fellow I’d never seen before suddenly appeared next to the refrigerator and pulled out a Zippo lighter and a little wooden box.
 
The gathering took a decidedly different turn.
 
Ten minutes later, I found it necessary to mention that Journey was rock’s version of the TV show Dynasty. This prompted a spirited debate we dubbed “Monkees = Monkees.” The goal is to figure out which television show is the closest philosophical analogy to a specific rock ‘n’ roll band, and the criteria is mind-blowingly complex; It’s a combination of longevity, era, critical acclaim, commercial success, and-most important-the aesthetic soul of each artistic entity. For example, the Rolling Stones are Gunsmoke. The Strokes are Kiefer Sutherland’s 24. Jimi Hendrix was The Twilight Zone. Devo was Fernwood 2-Night. Lynyrd Skynyrd was The Beverly Hillbillies, which makes Molly Hatchet Petticoat Junction. The Black Crowes are That 70’s Show. Hall & Oates were Bosom Buddies. U2 is M*A*S*H (both got a little preachy at the end). Dokken was Jason Bateman’s short-lived sitcom It’s Your Move. Eurythmics were
Mork & Mindy. We even deduced comparisons for solo projects, which can only be made to series that were spawned as spin-offs. The four Beatles are as follows: John = Maude, Paul = Frasier, George = The Jeffersons, and Ringo = Flo. David Lee Roth’s solo period was Knots Landing.
 
So there’s the proof: Marijuana makes you smarter.

SPAMpersand!

Because the best use for a meat product is obviously as a medium to create a logogram!

The Only Thing That’s Changed Is My Bra Size

I just got a package from my grandma that included a nice lil nugget. In my posession is my 2nd grade “New Years Resolutions”… I was feisty even as a 7-yr-old! 

“There are four resolutions I am going to make this fine year. If you don’t have a clue what a resolution is, I’ll tell you. A resolution is something that’s decided upon. My first resolution is to keep my small room clean. I’ll do that by putting things back after I have finished using them. My second resolution is to get better grades in cool school. I’ll do that by listening better. The third resolution is to cut the green gas and recycle it. By taking it to the mulching machine in my nehbors back yard, this will help my enviroment. My last resolution is for my good friends. I won’t get so angry with such Good Pals. What are your new years resolutions?”

Seriously, Megan!? “If you don’t have a clue what a resolution is, I’ll tell you?” Might as well have said “you’re probably a frickin’ MORON so let me learn you up something real good.”

I guess my 7-yr-old self thought that adding an adjective… anywhere… really makes you sound smart. Cool.

I Don’t Know Why We’re Friends

WARNING! This is DISTURBING!

Aaron: when i get engaged i wanna put my ring on my fiancee’s cl*t
cuz thats MINE now
something romantic like that, u know?

me: omg
omg

Aaron: so when people are like “omg you got engaged!? show me the ring, show me the ring!”

me: OMG!

Aaron: and she’ll just lift her skirt and be like BLUH-BLAM
HE LIKED IT
SO HE PUT A RING ON IT

I’m just going to go ahead and take a guess that that is NOT what Beyonce meant.

I WANT TO DIE

END MY LIFE NOW

My mom just asked me, “Do you know what oral sodomy is?”

Uhh no mom, I dont.

“Yeah i saw it on law and order and i wanted to see if it meant what I thought it was. Apparently sodomy = anything that is not penis in vagina. So now I’m thinking about the bible and every time it calls someone a sodomite if that means something other than anal.”