So my friend, Aaron, introduced me to the website thisiswhyyourefat.com and I have to admit that I think it’s fantastic. The site normally features such delicacies as the Chipwich On A Stick (Ice cream dipped in chocolate, rolled in sprinkles and peanuts, sandwiched between two fresh waffles and served on a stick) and the Smortuary (One layer of marshmallows, a layer of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, another layer of marshmallows sandwiched between two S’more Pop-Tarts topped in chocolate sauce).
But this is just WRONG! I give to you, the The Scotch MegaEgg…
20 hard-boiled eggs wrapped in bacon and covered in sausage meat and breading, baked whole.
You may now excuse yourself from the computer to go vomit.
It’s just…. I mean… I don’t…. It can’t…. Gross.
I. HATE. PREDICTIVE. ADVERTISING. It’s like facebook can see straight into my mind. Not. OK. (I, Money Ovah, really like punctuation today.)
Here’s a closeup of that pic in case you can’t see it.
A) Have I really looked up bacon and cheeseburgers so often on my computer that it recognizes I have an unhealthy appreciation for fast food?!
B) THERE IS NO WAY TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION! Baconator vs. Bacon Deluxe?! This is one of those classic questions that will never be answered like “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” or “How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?” or “Why is Lindsay Lohan still allowed to be alive?”
UPDATE: My friend just informed me that while I get fast food advertisements, he gets gay sex ads on his facebook… awesome.
The blurb written on the back of this bar says:
Breathe…engage your five senses, close your eyes and inhale deeply. Be in the present moment, notice the color of the chocolate, the glossy shine. Rub your thumb over the chocolate bar to release the aromas of smoked applewood bacon flirting with deep milk chocolate. Snap off just a tiny piece and place it in your mouth, let the lust of salt and sweet coat your tongue.
After reading this for the first time I wasn’t sure if I was about to vomit all over my “Barack-in and Ba-rollin” t-shirt.. or immediately break-up with my boyfriend and vow my life and soul to this creation. After deciding to put all questions aside and try this unimaginable concoction, I discovered that I was wrong on both counts: It just left me confused and crying in the corner of my room unable to make sense of the world.
This just goes to show that bacon IS the world’s most provocative meat product ever.